Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
