So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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