does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
