I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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