break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
