That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
