Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
