I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
