Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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