Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
