i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I booty called her while she was in labor.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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