woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
