Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
