I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
