We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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