i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
