:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
