i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
