I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
we should paint friendship bongs
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
