Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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