Are we in a gay sports bar?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
