thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
foreskin is a definite game changer
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
