And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
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