take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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