butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Let's get the cat blown out
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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