you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
People in love make me want to vomit
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
