I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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