I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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