Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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