how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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