my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I just cut my nipple shaving
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm passing your future prison.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
