so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
50% drunk capacity currently
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
