why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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