Dual....:-)
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
