I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
