Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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