Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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