sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
