he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
