You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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