When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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