He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
