just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
