Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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