Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I have tasted many bathrooms
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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