I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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