He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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