508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
