well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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