I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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